"Ah, the search for God. And do you know what happens when you find Him? He says, "you're it!" and then it's God's turn to find you." --Jeff Nelson
"I got two birthday presents today, but one ran away," -Lindsey H.
"What kind of present is that?" -Nicole M.
"Well…you remember Hitler?" -Lindsey H.
SECTION: JAEGER AND JAIME
"Mini moomoo," -- Jaeger
"Like a calf?" --Jaime
"Not a baby cow. An old cow who's just smaller than the rest," -- Jaeger
"Aw," --Jaime
"Aw what?" --Jaeger
"Poor wittew cow, not as big as da udders," --Jaime
"If a doily falls in the woods and no one is around, does it make a sound? No because doilies don't make sound," --Jaime
"Because they're not important," -- Jaeger
"It's the last day of the year. I'd better start working on last year's new years resolution." -- Jaeger
"What was it?" --Jaime
"Procrastination." --Jaeger
"You just made that up!" -- Jaime
"Yeah, you're right. It was actually compulsive lying." -- Jaeger
"How'd they make the dog sad?" -Jaime
"They probably sprayed it with water," -Jaeger
"It didn't look wet," -Jaime
"They probably dried it of…….with a porcupine," -Jaeger
"We used to have a boat," -Jaeger
"Jaeger, that was a swimming pool," -Jaime
"Why are baby spoons shaped like a U?" --Jaime
"Because when parents try to get their babies to eat, they make U shapes with their mouths. So the baby mimics them. So the spoon will fit in their mouth.......Although, if they just used a regular spoon, they wouldn't need to make that face," --Jaeger
SECTION: WORDS OF WISDOM FROM TEACHERS
"Mr. Green, what's that big toothpick?" -Sam
"Sam, that's the Washington Monument," -Green
"This book may look thicker than this one, but that's because it is…and the reason for that is that it has more pages," --Siharath
"I can't see you. Therefore…you do not exist!" -Siharath
"A girdle. It's one of those things you slip on…like a sock…with the bottom cut off," -Green
"I can't hear because I can't see," --Washa
"The problem is that Tinkerbelle and the sun are on the same tween," --Walker
"A-U-S? No, there's no such thing," -Mrs. Miller
"Brian, are you ever going to get rid of your gum before I have to tell you to?" --Miller
"It's not gum, it's plastic," --Brian
"You're chewing on plastic? Why are you chewing on plastic?" --Miller
"Because I don't have any gum," --Brian
"Just be patient. Don't be a patient dying in a hospital, but BE patient...Where the hell is it?!" -- Aritan
"We'll go until we…stop and then…we'll be done," -Green
"If you don't vote, you can't complain," -Dr. Horstmeyer
"But we did vote. We made a door and it won! It's Al Gore winning the popular vote over here and we still don't have doughnuts!" -Chris
"Hey Mr. Kellogg," -Joe
"Hey. How you doin'?" -Kellogg
"Fine…you're holding a hack saw…" -Joe
"Remember this: If someone brings you a TV, don't let them take it away again," --Albright
"The ocean is a conspiracy trying to make rivers salty," --Gonzalez
"Get in the Christmas spirit. Give someone a hug or a kiss, but don't give someone a chiapet," --Gonzalez
"Now it smells like French-fried ass." -Teiggs
SECTION: RANDOM STUFF
"We don't have to be proper, we're in a bowling alley!" -Carissa
"Yeah, but [if you're drunk] you don't know you're stealing a motorcycle and hitting a truck!" -Sarah
"She's so evil, she makes Hitler look like Nathan Lane," --Jeff Nelson
"British lobsters with funny haircuts?" -Jaeger
"They don't eat lobster in London," -Jan
"Yeah, they're too hairy," -Jeff
"Those shoes do more for a woman's legs than exercise." --Allie
"And more for her spine than falling out a plane." --Jaime
"Where's the Mayonnaise Lid? I'm not wearing any underpants" -Mary M.
"That's your excuse for everything. 'Your head was in my way'" -Jaeger
"Happiness is like peeing on yourself. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth."
"I got chocolate on my underwear!" -Erin B.
"She's eating my pants!" -Nikki V.
"You should take Spanish because it's easier than French and it'll come in handy because the Mexicans are taking over Wisconsin. That's what my mommy said," --Lindsey
"Anyone can TALK a line of sh**, and anyone can SING like sh**, but if you can get someone to SING a line of sh** and make it sound like MUSIC, then you've GOT something!" -C.P. Roth
"It's like taking money management without money," -Shorty
"Yeah, or aviation without a boat," -Mo
"I have to fix the chicken!" -Jaeger
"You're interrupting the throw of the pig!" -K10
"Hey! Keep your eyes in your own country!" --Courtney
"Can you make that negative three negative?" -Josh
"For the whole hitting you in the face thing, how many people in a group?" --Josh
"I don't like having cauliflower in my shoe," -Nicole
"Look! Flaming bag of poo," -Nicole
"Ooo! Gimme!" -Jolie
"Here's the thing. We're not geeks, we're not jocks, we're not preps. We are our own thing," -Nicole
"We're freaks!" -Jolie
"And we can all say the word 'OH'," -Carissa
"Do you like my hair Dooa? It looks dorky. Dorky!
"Mary get your shoes on," -Dave
"I gotta go pee.
"A book." --Kaleigh
"Yeah, I borrowed it." -Tia
"You what?" -Kaleigh
"I borrowed it," -Tia
"From who?" -Kaleigh
"The library," -Tia
"Oh…but that's so…weird," -Kaleigh
"Why did someone throw a perfectly good piece of pizza in the garbage?" -Sami
"Because it fell on Steve," -Jolie
"I'll eat it!" -Nicole
"Eat your soup or Granny's gonna get the spatula."
"No, don't put the golf ball in the microwave!" -Whitney
"Are you saying Lance was cheating on his girlfriend for his brother?" -Jolie
"Why are we always dyslexic when we have to pick movies?" -- MacKenzie
"You mean indecisive?" -- Kaylee
"I may not have fingernails, but daaamn I've got fingers!" --Ashton
Ryan: "When I was little, I never thought that the Easter bunny might be a thief."
Toby: "Why would he be a thief?"
Ryan: "Because he's got eggs. And he's hiding them."
Toby: "Why wouldn't he have eggs? He's a rabbit!"
"I know why you always get lost! You just don't know which direction you're going in relation to where you want to end up." -- Mrs. G
"Teeter-totters at MY rock concert!" -- Chris
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